Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and that got me thinking…
Steve and I don’t celebrate an anniversary. We’ve been together 7ish years (see, I don’t even know how long… no anniversary to help me keep track!), and we’ve never really acknowledged when 1 year turned to 2 or when 5 turned to 6.
And we’re really awful at celebrating Valentines Day. One year Steve did get me this:
And, I think, the year after I got us tickets to see these guys:
But we’ve been far from consistent – each year thinking we’ll celebrate the week before or after to avoid crowds and high prices. And then forgetting about it all together.
Yet, I have never cared. Not even a little bit. And I’m not just saying this to sound like the cool, laid-back girlfriend we see in all the movies these days. I’ve never regretted not having an anniversary. I’ve never missed the V-day cards, flowers and candies.
I was reflecting on this recently, after my coworkers seemed flabbergasted when I couldn’t come up with an anniversary date. I wondered where my indifference came from. You could argue, “Caring about things like anniversaries and Valentines days is petty.” But I care about plenty of petty things (i.e. my birthday, when the dishes are done, that every meal I cook must be declared as “The Best Meal Ever.”) Obviously, pettiness isn’t a factor.
You could guess, “Anniversary’s and Valentines Day weren’t important to your family growing up.” But this, too, is FALSE. My mom is the queen of holidays! Any holiday. Especially ones that incorporate gift giving. As for anniversaries, my parents have two – first date and wedding! I was indoctrinated at a young age.
After thinking about it for a couple of days, we hopped in the Bustache for weekend drive, and that’s when it hit me – Our relationship is a lot like driving a VW bus.
There’s the obvious comparison – Our relationship is… well… slooooow. We’ve been taking our time, noting the scenery and truly trying to care more about the journey than the destination. In the meantime, people are passing us right and left. Some happily wave as they zip by to engagement, marriage and babies. Others honk and encourage us to move a little faster. ;-(D This is not always the easiest way to get where we’re going (and not necessarily even advisable!), but, so far, we’ve reached some pretty significant milestones that we’ve had the time to fully appreciate and celebrate.
And then, there’s this – just like climbing into the cab of Bustache, our relationship feels special on even the most mundane of days.
We’ll see a play on a Wednesday night; bbq on the beach at sunset; take spur-of-the-moment camping trip; go out to a nice dinner on a random weekday; and make nightly walks to frozen-yoghurt. I don’t think I’ve had to care about the more traditional lovey-dovey days because I feel like we celebrate “us” all year long.
I don’t want to sound trite here. Of course this bus analogy works both ways… sometimes our relationship sputters (cue vacuum meltdown of 2011). Other times it takes some coaxing and finesse to start. Very occasionally, everything just breaks down.
But, for the most part, I feel like every day holds the possibility of another adventure for Steve and me. And for now, that seems to beat the need for chocolates and roses.
P.S. Now, let’s be realistic. Our relationship has got it pretty easy right now. We’ve both got great jobs, no kids (this is a big one) and good health. We have the time and energy to make daily (or at least, weekly) “adventures.” (And when we don’t, we know we’re just being lazy because we really have no excuse!) As I am typing this, I’m having a flashback to a conversation I had with my mom once… I think I was like 12 or 13. She said, “Before children, when your dad and I first got married we had so much fun. We used to go see movies on Tuesday nights and get ice-cream at 11pm. We could do anything we wanted, whenever we wanted.” I didn’t get why this was a big deal and never understood what she was saying until now… kids ruin everything! :-(D Just kidding. I think she was saying, “Each stage in life has its perks. Enjoy what you have when you have it (AND, we gave up a whole lot for you kids… you better take care of us in our old age!).”
P.P.S. Now I’m all worried about having babies… I might have to consider them as just one BIG-HUMUNGO-GIGANTIC VW adventure… yeah… that might work…
P.P.P.S. Note to Steve – I’ll probably feel differently about the anniversary thing when we get married (Enjoy what you have when you have it! ;-(D).
Now onto you – What kind of car is your relationship? Would you consider having kids like VW adventure? What is the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve ever gotten (sorry, it won’t hold a candle to my commemorative Obama plate!)?